What the fuck is wrong with people? Why do you insist on forwarding shit? Nine times out of ten it’s just bullshit, lies and a total fucking waste of my time. I haven’t gotten a phone call, card or email from you in over 5 years, but suddenly you forward something to me? What the fuck?  Do me a favor and go fuck yourself, ok?

Keep your fucking garbage to yourself. I am not going to suddenly “find the lord” because you forward a ridiculous “miraculous” prayer to me. Oh, and by the way, I don’t send it on to 10 of my friends, and you know what? Nothing bad happens to me, even though it’s full of threats! You fucking cunts! Don’t try to manipulate me with threats and fear. That is a major reason why I hate religion so much. Oh, and you know what else? Your stupid wish that you made when you forwarded the fucking thing to me didn’t come true either! So you spammed me because you were afraid something bad would happen to you if you didn’t, and you just had to believe that your lame wish would come true if you did. How fucking pathetic are you? Fuck, you must still believe in the Easter Bunny and Fairies too, huh? No? Just an invisible asshole in the sky that fucks with you on a whim? Oh, ok, that makes total sense. REALLY. Fucking moron!

I used to reply to forwards. Somebody would send me something full of lies and threats, and I’d go to Snopes and find out how fucking misinformed they all were. Then I’d type up a nice reply and send it back. Never once did I ever get a thank you or even an acknowledgment for taking the time to educate them and help them. No, just another forward a short time later. Fuck you. Now I don’t even open them. I see that FW and I delete it. That’s what you’ve become to me: You’re SPAM.

Wingnut’s dad forwards about 15 emails a day. I have it set up to go directly to the trash. Fuck him. In the 2 or 3 years that he’s been using the computer, never once has he written a single fucking word in an email. But he sure does know how to forward. I’m sure some of it is funny, but most of it is religious. Two weeks ago I emailed my stepmother. It was a nice email saying how we’re doing and asking how the rest of the family is. I had several questions in there. Now, for those of you who don’t know, when someone writes you a letter and asks a question, it’s because they want a fucking Answer! When I ask a question about you and how you’re doing, I’m telling you I care about you and am interested in you! Fuckhead! No reply from her. But since then I’ve gotten 4 forwards. Delete!

So go fuck yourself if you forward shit to me. Except “King of England” (you know who you are), you forward really funny shit to me and I’m ok with it. :P  But, yeah, the rest of you, if you can’t take the time to fucking TALK to me, GO FUCK YOURSELF!