Fruitloop wrote about the worst word ever. Geez. My ex-friend, Allison, is cumboding people left and right! I watch her do it at work every day! I should let her know. That cunt-faced cumbode! Bitch got fat, too.

But seriously, folks. Whatever happened to cocksucker and motherfucker? I mean, I know they are considered boring, commonplace, and overused, but I HEREBY PROPOSE THAT COCKSUCKER and MOTHERFUCKER ARE UNDER-APPRECIATED!
Appreciate THIS, motherfuckers:

I am but an honest and pure little lass, and yet I cannot speak about our current president without using the words COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKER, or some marginally creative variation of this phrase. I’m not telling you this for comedic effect, I am laying down the word of truth to you people. I have tried, REALLY TRIED, to talk about baby bush without invoking the above phrase. I have made desperate attempts to have adult political conversations in somewhat professional settings. I have spoken to priests and rabbis, bosses and supervisors, and even wee little baby childrens. But if YOU KNOW WHO becomes a topic of conversation, the anti-republicunt turrets spews out of me, even in said company, before I can make an ATTEMPT to stop it.

“BUSH!? THAT COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKER!”
or
“BUSH!? THAT MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKER!”
or
“BUSH!? WHY, THAT COCKFUCKING MOTHERSUCKING FUNCTIONALLY-RETARDED ASS-CUNT RUINED MY LIFE AND MY PARENTS LIVES AND IF OUR PRESIDENT HAD HALF A BRAIN-CELL LEFT (INSTEAD OF BLOWING THEM ALL AT THOSE BUSH-COMPOUND-SPONSORED BOURBON-AND-COCAINE FIESTAS), AND HAD SIMPLY BEEN DOING HIS FUCKING JOB SEVEN YEARS AGO, 5000 OF MY FELLOW NEW YORKERS WOULDN’T HAVE LOST THEIR LIVES IN ONE INSTANT, AND THOUSANDS OF OTHER INNOCENT SOULS WOULD STILL BE HERE ON EARTH, ENJOYING LIFE WITH THEIR PARENTS AND THEIR CHILDREN, LIKE HE IS, AND WHEN THAT COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKER DIES, I HOPE THE SOULS OF ALL THOSE WHOSE LIVES WERE CUT SHORT IN HIS NAME COME OUT AND TORTURE HIM FOR ETERNITY. ETERNITYYYYYYY!”

Its at this point that
a)  the priests look away, pretending to be distracted by the pope or something
or
b)  the supervisors pull out my file and start making little notes
or
c)  the little baby childrens say “tell me more, miss! tell me more about the devil!”

And so on and so forth. always the same variation. And since he remains, in my humble opinion, satan incarnate, and he is literally the only person on the planet whose sudden painful death would honestly (not a joke - not an exaggeration) elicit a full-fledged house-party sponsored by yours truly, I can only assume that the words “Cocksucker” and “Motherfucker” still hold SOME weight in the grand scheme of verbiage.

Peace out! Have a lovely sunday! And be sure to stop by the mall and try a fresh new Imploding Cumbode for lunch today. They’re delicious.