The Real 7 Deadly Sins
May 25th, 2008 by fruitloop(Sorry for butting in on your post, but I just wanted to let everyone reading this know that the site is now for sale.. Please see my post on the front page about this… Toodles, your pal, Nutcase)
My in-laws are devout catholics. Hey, if being a sheeple makes you happy, fine, but keep it to your fucking self. Of course, this makes you part of the problem, but that’s a rant for another day.
For xmas Wingnut’s parents gave us 7 plaster sculptures of medieval heads representing the Seven Deadly Sins. When I opened them, I laughed. I couldn’t help myself. I thought it was fucking hilarious. Apparently they ignored the emails and memos stating that their son is an atheist, and their daughter-in-law is a Seventh Degree Black Belt Atheist.
Since December I’ve had these plain plaster heads sitting on my dining room table, taking up tons of room. I really couldn’t decide if we should throw them away, hang them up, give them away or what. I finally decided to paint them gold and hang them in our dining room. I mean, why not? I have a small 18″ statue of the sacred heart Jesus in there, why not add to the whole religious ambiance I have going on?
As a side note, I stole that Jesus fair and square several years ago. It was all lonely in someone’s yard and I just couldn’t resist. That was the year of religious thievery I went through. I also stole several plastic baby Jeebuses from stupid mangers in the neighborhood, as well as a bible from the church where we had to vote for president in 2004. Well, fuck, it was an illness. So fucking get off my back about it. I don’t do it anymore. Don’t think I’m all high and mighty though. I don’t do it mainly because the opportunity is no longer there, and the thrill is gone. Fucking tragic. Oh, and to let you know, after getting tired of storing the plastic baby Jesuses, I finally put them back in different mangers, doubling up on the Jeebuses. I guess you didn’t read that fairy tale, where Mary had twins?
Anyway, while painting these heads, I thought, these sins are lame. I hate the catholic church and all it stands for, and I really started to think that hanging these heads properly would serve to only confuse the issue in my home. I wanted to make it clear that we saw these stupid “sins” as a shopping list. I couldn’t think of how to pull this off with style and panache.
I finally came up with the idea to rename the sins for what is truly evil in today’s society. It took some thinking, but with Wingnut’s help we came up with a new list.
Apathy
Cruelty
Duplicity
Hypocrisy
False Morality
Abuse of Power
Cultivated Ignorance
Anyway, it’s fucking cool. As soon as I figure out a way to get the new words on the face plaques, I’ll get them finished and hung over the doors, just in time for the in-laws to come visit us for a week. I’ll have to let you know how they react. It should be pretty fucking funny. I’m sure it’s blasphemous and sacrilegious. At least I hope so!
Get your t-shirt or mug with the real 7 deadly sins here. We just had them made through our friends at Sir Lee Tees.
And I just got my friend to make up what it will look like when it’s done. This one was Gluttony. Now it’s Abuse of Power.
Bravo!
Great idea… I’m especially fond of the lettering.
I looked up the “original” 7 sins on Wikipedia and they are fucking stupid, Only idiots would waste their time on a religion that has to teach them those very basic tenants of life. What really cracks me up about the catholic church is how redundant and repetitive their services are… I suppose that is so that everyone can play along with their hangovers.
I only went a few times with a friend when I was young.
I laughed so fucking hard the time he had to go up and kiss a cross that everyone in the church had already planted their lips on.
Your sins rock! Good concept, Fruits!
My sweet amazing boyfriend (I refuse to call him “F-tard” because I adore him - sorry kids!) also received said face plaques for xmas, and hung them in the kitchen in our apartment. They look pretty cool, actually, because they’re almost the same color as the wall and it looks like they’re coming out of the walls - all these creepy sin-faces bursting through to remind you of all the things you do on a daily basis that suck!
We did make sure to keep Gluttony away from the fridge, and Sloth out of sight from the couch that faces the TV. I don’t feel like being guilt-tripped whilst munching popcorn and chilling with a good episode of “Step It Up And Dance.”
What!!!? Broadway dancers bitch-slapping eachother! It’s unbeatable! But I digress…
Yeah, so even as a Jeeewww (say it with the Borat voice and its funny!) I found neither truth nor offense in said plaques. Maybe it’s because I never think about those “sin” thingys as a religious or christian concept, though it clearly is. Nor can I take this laundry list seriously. Everyone commits half of these sins every day - some are normal human emotions! If its a sin to feel jealous of someone, to feel proud of your hard-earned accomplishments, or to veg out on the couch with a bunch of Reality TV crack after a long hard day at work, well then it might as well be a sin to be hungry! Or tired! Or sad! Or happy! Or proud! (Oh, wait - that one IS a sin! What the fuck?)
My point? You lead your life however you wanna! You just love, love, love, until there ain’t no more love to give! Sin, shmin, dammit! I believe that as smart people go through life, they create their own religion. Everyone has their own personal moral code that they live by, and everyone gets to decide on their own personal list of sins to steer clear from. I, for one, agree with ya Fruitypie - I think the sin of APATHY tops them all. I always thought it should be illegal to not vote. And excuse me if the self-effacing thing is getting old in my book, but I’d rather be full of PRIDE than HYPOCRASY any day.