Yeah, I’ve been on them, what the fuck of it?

Actually, I’ve met some cool people on them, one of which was about a 6 month relationship. And we’re still friends, so shut the fuck up.

They say, if you want to meet like minded people, try meeting them where you spend most of your time. Well, as a web developer, designer, and all around geek, I spend a stupid amount of my time at the computer. And since I don’t have a fucking line of chicks at my desk, I think the best way to meet people who are at least minimally literate is to meet the on the internet.

It also acts as a nice filter. If you meet someone in a bar, and they turn out to be fucking crazy, you are potentially stuck. If you meet them online, and spend a fair amount of time getting to know them thru IM and email, you can weed out the crazies much easier.  All in all, it’s not the “loser” way to meet people like a lot of folks think of it.

But.. That’s not what we’re here for.

I’ve been on a few different sites over the years, and seen a good amount of women’s profiles and have a few bones to pick with some of them.

First off, LEARN TO FUCKING SPELL! Holy fuck.. nothing makes me think White Trash Redneck like a chick with 5 kids who can’t bother to use a fucking spell check. What the fuck. It’s not that hard you morons.

Second, if you are a gigantic fucking hippo, please don’t describe yourself as AVERAGE. Do you think I won’t notice when we meet? Or even better, when I glance the fuck over at your picture that takes up 3/4 of my monitor cause your ass is so fucking huge? Fuck me. Please ladies, if you are a big girl, there’s no shame in that, just don’t fucking kid yourself, you are not fucking average. You’re fat.

Third, if you post pictures of your kids, pets, cars, houses, boats, motorcycles or what the fuck ever, you will most likely turn off whoever it is that you are trying to attract. We don’t give a hot fuck if you have these things. We are looking to date you, not your fucking kids. Please leave them the fuck out of the deal. And while I’m on kids.. For fuck sake, we all know that your precious little fucking brats come first in your life. No shit. Who’s kids don’t. And the first time I do see a profile that proclaims that they could give a fuck about their kids, I’ll be sure to rake them over the fucking coals.

Fourth, if the only thing you post in your profile is a list of shit you hate, or shit you don’t want in a date, you probably won’t get much. Yes, we know you are a bitch, get past it. Move on. Tell us the fuck something that will make us want to say something more to you than, “Hey baby, nice tits.”

Fifth, for you young girls. You really get on my nerves. If you are over the age of 18, you are an adult. You have a profile on an adult oriented dating website. You are not a child any more. Therefore, you can drop the fucking bullshit about “If your a creepy pedophile, don’t talk to me”, FUCK YOU! I’ll fucking talk to you if I want to. As a matter of fact, if you put shit like that in your stupid little profile, I may even say some things to you that you’ve never heard before. Things that will make you blush. Things that would probably make your mother blush. If you don’t want to be hit on by dirty old men, I suggest you go outside and try the bars.. Oh yea, you probably got hit on there too.. Damn the luck. Fuck, you’re a tasty young girl, guys of all ages like that shit, deal with it. I’ve seen a few that will put something on there stating their preferred age range. Do that, it works, and it’s not naggy little girl bullshit.

Finally, if someone contacts you on the dating site, and you are not interested, it would be really fucking helpful if you’d please LET THEM THE FUCK KNOW. Ignoring them is not polite. It’s down right fucking rude. It proves more and more what a rude fucked up society we live in. It’s a damn wonder you bitches ever get laid.

PS. One fucking more thing.. Learn the fuck how to rotate your damned pictures. That shit pisses me off.